So yesterday I decide to do a little work in the morning, then ditch the work to have a ‘girly’ day, haircut a massage and a pedicure, OK maybe not the pedicure but the other 2 were necessary. Anyway, I get my haircut first, way too short but I of course said “that looks brilliant,” when the hairdresser asked my opinion. Then onto an amazing full body massage of which I enjoyed for a round 4 minutes before I fell asleep, regardless, I came out afterwards feeling like a new woman!
I decide to grab a coffee and watch the world go by for a while in my state of tranquility, within a minute of sitting down a guy on the next table strikes up a conversation with me. He was a sharply dressed guy sipping on a coconut water and smoking his red Marlboro’s. The conversation took the usual route of ‘where are you from? what do you do?’ When I asked him what he did, he told me that he was in politics, not your standard answer. Despite my repeated questions as to what he actually did, he consistently switched the subject back to me, like a good politician should, I guess. Not to be denied, I pressed again, at which point he told me that his name was Alejandro and he was the son of Mexican President Peña Nieto.
As you can imagine, alarm bells rang in my head, no security service in sight, sitting in what was a pretty run down part of town and the small fact that this guy looked older than Mr. Nieto himself meant I was suspicious to say the least. So I did what any other weirdo would have done, I ran with it. I asked about his childhood, his day-to-day life and how it feels to be the son of the President. I sat open-mouthed as he told me about his amazing ‘father’ and laughed heartily when he told me the perks that his Dad’s presidency comes with, the women, the drugs blah, blah, blah.
I soon got bored and called him out, clearly the poor chap hadn’t considered the simple iPhone+3G= Wikipedia algorithm. As I displayed a picture of the real Alejandro on my phone, my new friend could tell his game was up, he searched for a lie but could see it was futile. I laughed and asked why he would spin such a yarn, and frankly his reply was better than his lie.
He told me that he worked as a construction worker, he didn’t earn very much and the work wasn’t always there. He had stolen the suit from an upmarket shop 2 days before and did my the courtesy of showing my the still-remaining security tag, but sadly he wasn’t stealthy enough to grab the shoes. I hadn’t even noticed that he had decided on the interesting combination of white shirt, sharp grey suit and ripped New Balance trainers. He said it was his dream to become an actor and he liked to go out, meet people and pretend to be a high-flying businessman, a model or any other profession that would impress people, for practice.
I reminded him about the internet being a powerful weapon and advised him to tighten his story up a bit, he agreed, apparently when he saw that I was foreign he thought the President’s son would be watertight, clearly not. After discussing a new approach with him for next time, I paid my bill, wished him luck, and went on my way in a state of tranquility mixed with laughter and a general feeling of ‘what the fuck just happened…..!’