There is a very real possibility that my testicles will not be attached for a great deal longer after I have finished this article, but let’s not let a little bit of potential pain and humiliation stand in the way of the truth. I have lived with my girlfriend in Mexico for just over a year now and many people often ask what it is like to be in a relationship with a foreigner, and in particular, a Mexican so I thought I’d fill you all in on my experiences.
Latinas in general are notorious for their fiery passion and it is absolutely on the money as far as stereotypes go. Experience has shown me that either extreme of the rage meter can be found at any given time. However, whilst you can most definitely expect the gates of hell to open in the eyes of your partner and for them to channel the spirits of Zeus, Thor, Satan and Dybbuk to make you feel like Robert Mugabe himself, regardless of the size of your crime I might add, you can also expect the amount of love which they give you to be a powerful blend of Eros, Cupid and Frigga.
A good friend told me that my stomach would never be the same again when your in a relationship with a Latina, and those words ring very true on a daily basis. Expect nothing but the extreme, love showered down on you with the verve and beauty of a Shakespearean Sonnet and fury directed towards you with the menace and desire of a hell-born Tsunami.
Throw Your Watch Out
Ah time, something which my amazing girlfriend, and a great many Latinas, only deem to be important when they are the ones who are waiting. The general rule of thumb is this, if you are meeting them somewhere, you better be early! If you are waiting for them, you had better be patient! The sinister beauty of this is that you wait either way, arrive early and they’ll hit the bathroom, make 5 phone calls and decide that now is a perfect time to ponder new nails. There is no way out of this, arrive late and get the fury, try to dish out the fury when they are late and you get the fury back two-fold, just download a good phone game or take your Kindle, and serve your time.
The Best Tour Guide
Mexicans have staunch national pride and whilst they understand the broken bits within government and the welfare system, they instead focus their efforts on this stunning country. My girlfriend loves nothing more than showing off her country to me and in turn I have learned things that I never would have before thanks to her. My girlfriend always puts me first, she can’t wait for me to see and try new things and she always adopts the protector role when we are out and about in her country, a trait which is incredibly endearing.
The Dark Side
My girlfriend lived for some years in Mazatlan, Sinaloa, aka Cartel country, her father works in governmental circles and her family from Mexico City come from a barrio called Tepito, a very interesting neighbourhood which is deemed by many Mexicans, and the police, to be too dangerous to enter. It is fair to say that I should definitely not cross my girlfriend.
In reality, women are not always so different in varying countries, they are all emotionally more intelligent than us men and they love nothing more than loving us, looking after us, and kicking our arses into shape when needed. Latinas have their quirks though and if you are fortunate enough to fall in love with one as I have, you are in for a relationship that will never bore you and one which will bring you laughter, excitement, lunacy and most importantly, love.